What goes in...keeps coming out...

Day 1

8:45 am - 1 glass of room temperature water. Delicious.

9:51 am - Juice #1: Romaine, celery, cucumber, kale, parsley, green apple, spinach and lemon. It's one of those green drinks! But oddly tasty. You can taste the apple and the lemon which give its a tang. No, I won't voluntarily drink it again after this detox but not bad. I've already been to the bathroom twice and about to get myself a cup of green tea to help with the caffeine withdrawal....also scheduled my first colonic for tomorrow evening (this will have to get its very own post!!!)

12:00 pm - 1:08 pm - Juice #2 was really what i'd call a juice: pineapple, apple + mint. I'm sure this is probably the favorite among most of the 6 juices but for me it was too sweet to chug down. I nursed it like a bad cocktail at a lame bar. It's not bad tasting at all, don't get me wrong. I'm just not partial to juices in general unless it's sour (i love grapefruit!) and maybe has just a tinge of the hard stuff. (sorry. i'm not an alchey but i'm starting to fiend like one during the home stretch of this lent fast). Bathroom trips since last posting: 2 and on my way to the third. This brings total bathroom count for today to 5.

Are you allowed to chew gum? Have a cough drops? Drink emergen-C? Anyone? Bueller?

2:42 pm - Juice #3. Same as the first juice of the day. Notice that my cup has gotten noticeably smaller. For the first juice, the goal was chug-a-lug and try to bypass the fact that I am drinking vegetables that normally I don't even eat in solid form. However, hunger is slowly creeping up on me and now I want the experience to last. Another major observation: the day seems to span eons when you don't spend time thinking of what to eat for lunch, ordering lunch, eating lunch and then thinking of what to eat for dinner. I'm not sure if you can see clearly in this picture, but on my desk in the back left i have 3 things of chocolate goodies I keep around for that 3 o'clock sugar fix. I also have a gold and green tin of green tea chocolates I got as a gift in the back right of the photo. haha. What ironic juxtoposition.

5:11 pm - I had another green tea earlier to stave off the mini caffeine withdrawal headache I feel lurking in the back corners of my mind...I'm about to drink juice #4 - water, lemon, cayenne and agave - but honestly even though I'm HUNGRY (like a crazed hippo) I'm just sick of drinking juices. My belly feels like a water balloon. Each time I walk to the bathroom I hear/feel the juices sloshing around. And I'm really tired. Not like sleepy tired. More like just void of energy. Patti tabulated the daily intake of calories at 1050.

CRAZY. I'm sure I eat 2000+ easy (fried chicken alone is probably 2000).

Hrmm. I just took a sip of #4. Not bad. It's refreshing. Like a cool lemonade that does a little drop kick at the tail end in your throat (the cayenne?). I can do this....

Drink by Numbers

So it just dawned on me that most of you have no idea what I'm talking about....

Starting tomorrow, I will be doing a body "cleanse" (aka DETOX) to "ride my body of impurities, regain an alkaline balance and normalize digestion and metabolism."

http://blueprintcleanse.com/

The site is pretty detailed. Here's the condensed version:

Each day I get 1 bag of "food."

Food = 6 drinks which are numbered and need to be drunken in order. It is recommended that each drink be spaced 1 hour apart with the last "meal" to be had at least 2 hours before bedtime.

I can have unlimited water and herbal tea. Unlimited. Yay.

Repeat for 3 days.


I foresee many, many trips to the bathroom and I'm a little worried about some major meetings I have this week. I don't even drink the daily recommended 6-8 glasses of water. Most days its 1 glass of water spaced out over 12 hours + 1 or 2 cups of coffee.


When I first decided to commit to this I was pretty confident. 3 days? psssht. I've been fasting alcohol for almost 5 weeks now. bring it! Now its the eve of the beginning of detox and I'm sitting here debating if I should squeeze in one last ramen before midnight.....


I've also supposed to have been easing into this fast (see first post).
That hasn't been faring so well. A sampling of some fried goodness from the past weekend:

I threw in the pomegranate pinkberry as a buffer between the wings to make me feel better.

If I seem a little cranky or off tomorrow it's probably because I am. Please understand.

"Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing"

And so my recent foray into "health nut" status has begun...

Prep Day 1 - 3 days and counting until the official start of my body DETOX.

I still have no idea why I'm doing this but I'm fully expectant of some sort of change as a result.
Whether it just scrapes my insides clean of the 30+ years of fried chicken gorging or just gets rid of the approximately 2 lbs of residuals I can almost visualize embedded into my large intestine walls, I'm ready.

Here were some (too peppy) words of advice that were sent in preparation of the detox:

Prepare, prepare, prepare — we can't stress this enough. The more prepared you are before your cleanse, the smoother your transition will be. This means: starting today, cut down on all those delicious indulgences we love to love…phase out the coffee, the sugar, the meat and the dairy, and add fresh fruit and veggies at every meal.
LISTEN UP! NO farewell-to-solid-foods-with-a-steak-and-martini dinner the night before you start. You will NOT be a happy camper by the end of Day One. And that's a promise. So start now!

Essentially this is how I translated this:

1. This isn't a 3 day detox! Add in the prep time and the post phase out time, and you're talking at least a week of no fried chicken.
2. NO COFFEE???? hrmm. does that mean coffee is a toxin? hrmm. i drink a toxin everyday?? do i care? trepidation about inevitable caffeine withdrawal headaches.....
3. There are so many exclamation points in this. these detox people are super peppy. it must be from having such squeaky clean intestines. i wonder if that's how i'll turn out after this....

So here goes. I've already had cereal with granola + coffee. Not a fruit or veggie in sight. This bodes poorly for me. I guess I'll try again at lunch.

**********

2nd breakfast fared much better with a heaping dose of fruits.
But a lunch of ground beef wraps sorta nixed that....