When words can't say...

I stared at a blinking cursor on a blank page for quite some time before I started writing this post. Which is just so apropro as this blog is essentially about my deficiency in all things ... {insert word here that means "of words" or "having to do with all things words"}.  
I used to get slightly insulted when someone would ask "when did you come to the states?" because, well, I was born here. But who can blame them, I incorrectly use idioms ALL the time. I have a girlfriend who is worse than I am but I never notice her errors either so together our conversation might go a little something like

"get OUT of the city!"  "no, YOU get out of the city!"

We also like to "shoot fish out of a barrel" and  when things are funny, "it's a barrel of monkeys!"

I also blame it on the increasing dependance on my iphone. When someone tells texts me bad news, I automatically respond with :( and if they say something sad but with a tinge of awkward, I'm quick with the =/    And if you're like me, and shelled out the big bucks ($.99) for the emoji app, why you can express everything you want without having to type out a single word!

Anonymous Kakao user #1: Wanna grab dinner tonight?

Me: 
{Translation: aw, I'd love to but I can't tonight, I'm not feeling well....}

~~~~~
Anonymous texter #2:  Are you fine w/making an announcement tomorrow during service?

Me:
{Translation: You must be crazy if you think I am going to speak in public.}

~~~~~

Anonymous Gchatter #3:  Thanks for the ride home last night!

Me:
{Translation: No problem! Love you!}


Even in emoji, that last emoticon is hard to come by from me....I'm like Patrick Swayze from Ghost..."ditto!"

So for the rest of you linguistically challenged folks, here's an easy tutorial to help you charge yourself with an arsenal (and edible!) emotions:


Emoji Cookies

What you'll need:

• medium consistency yellow icing fitted with a #3 tip
• piping consistency black icing fitted with a #2 tip
• piping consistency white icing fitted with a #2 tip
• optional for even greater emotional depth: piping consistency red icing fitted with a #2 tip

For these cookies, you can bake any size circles. Mine are 2" rounds because I think they're just cute to look at. 

Outline your circles with yellow icing:

Flood your circles and let them dry overnight. At this point, you're halfway done. Seriously, how easy are these?

Once the circles are completely dry, use your black, white and red icings to pipe on the faces.

Voila:

I used a little dry luster dust to brush on some flushed cheeks. I find the idea of cookies blushing to be absolutely adorable.

These were made for someone who was recently released from the hospital. My version of a Get Well Soon package. What I'm feeling, wrapped up in a clear box. 

Hopefully it says a lot without having to utter a single word. 

Fashion Friday: Clever layering to outsmart Mother Nature

Is it just me or is Mother Nature a little schizo this year? We had a snowstorm in October which prompted me to invest in a pair of heavy duty boots...which are still sitting pristine in their box today.  We've had a pretty tame winter so far, until this past weekend. Wow. What a shock to the system! And of course, I chose to wear cropped pants and leather sneakers on Friday (in an effort to be comfortable and stylish during my freelance gig) and it almost cost me 2 ankles to the cold.


I've been noticing a lot of street shots where people are getting inventive with the layers. And not just tees and sweaters but layer upon layer of outerwear on top or outerwear.  The key is to keep the outerwear layers relatively light.  A fashionable alternative to my down parka that makes me look like the Stay Puft Marshmallow man:


Love the layers, but since I'm not a celebrity that's shuttled around door to door, I think I'll stay away from the peeptoes until spring. I don't need to lose toes when my ankles are still recovering.

Chic! Leather moto jacket under a lightweight parka. I also love the belt over the leather jacket...added points for style!

I'm adding some pix of the boys too...always extra impressed by an impeccably dressed gentleman. :)

Blazer under a cardigan sweater (versus the usual reverse layering)

Time to layer up folks! The combinations are endless!


Oh. And on a sidenote, I decided to get new glasses so I checked out this site Warby Parker.  They have this function that allows you to upload a picture and virtually try on glasses at home. Which would be awesome if I just took some normal pictures once in awhile. This was the best headshot of myself I could find:

So I had my girlfriend take some more "normal" shots last week and here's virtual try on take two:

Better, but still NG! i think it's the angle of the glasses or soemthing.  I look like Winnie from the Wonder Years in the leftmost photo.  Although I DO like where they sit on my nose and that my eyes are actually somewhat centered in the lens. In real life those frames would sit much lower because I have no bridge. (I'm lucky to even have the amount of bridge I have now - it's a result of my brother clocking me accidentaly in the face with a golf club...it swelled up and didn't fully subside. Thanks little bro.) I wonder if Warby Parker adds those little nosepads to the frames or if that's only Asian eyeglass stores....

Anyways, I think ultimately I'll have to try them on myself at home....which I CAN! Thanks to Warby Parker's home trial. You can pick up to 5 pairs for a 5 day trial at home free of charge (even the return shipping!).

If I see you this weekend you'll be seeing me sporting around one of these frames as a test. Please let me know what you think...I'll probably be wearing these frames for the next 5 years.

And I fear I left some bad pictures of myself to remember when  you leave this site so I leave you with this gorgeous rear shot of a very fashionable pair of lovebirds:


TGIF!

2012 = The Year of the Dragon

After a year full of bunnies, bunnies and more bunnies, (and actually one more "bunnies" that i'll be posting about later this week or next), I was challenged with the start of the new year by the next animal in the Chinese zodiac - The Dragon.  This was for a close girlfriend's baby shower and the specific requests were "nothing baby, cute or shower-like."
My face ==>  ^^? + =O

What I came up with:

He's actually a little cute. And blue. So I've gone against 2 requests. And he's a baby dragon. So I broke all 3.  Well, good thing we're good friends and I don't really listen to rules.
He's not as fierce as I originally imagined him...and a little chubby. But oh-so chocolate-y.  I love making eating chocolate cookies. (I've been really diligent taste testing when its a chocolate batch).  So I think she forgave me after she ate him. Although she did explicitly ask me why I made dragons: "...because your baby will be born in the year of the dragon..." to which she responded "oh...and I thought you were just trying to be all original and creative and do whatever you wanted."  Oh, she knows me so well.

Because of all the subtle components of this cookie, I documented each step for those wanting to try.  To get that compartmentalized look was a delicate and strategic icing version of paint by numbers. You have to wait until each section is dry before you start on it's adjacent neighboring sections...but you don't want to be icing all night. It's all about efficiency people! I'm all about efficiency people! And after all is said and done, I can throw down my icing bags in satisfaction and think "this is what a $150K+ college degree is all about baby!" 

What you'll need:

• baby blue medium consistency icing fitted with a #3 tip
• red medium consistency icing fitted with a #3 tip
• khaki medium consistency icing fitted with a #3 tip
• light grey stiff consistency icing fitted with a #2 tip
• teddy bear cookie cutter (mine is from the Wilton baby set found here)
• mini scalloped triangle cutter (mine is from another Wilton mini set found here)

So I always start with a sketch. It's the obsessive in me. I need a map before I drive right?
Here's the original 3 drawings starting from the first one on the yellow post it and then go counter clockwise:

You like how it's on the back of a used up cardboard container? Whatever works.

To make your "dragon" cookie:
You'll need the cutters I listed above.

Cut out a teddy bear and place on your parchment lined baking sheet.

Then using your mini triangle, cut out 2 "wings" and a scale" atop the head like so:

Piece them together on the baking sheet. They should all fit together like a puzzle:

Note that this was my first attempt and I thought it was better to have the top piece above the head slightly askew. I later changed my mind so all subsequent pictures have the top piece centered. 

Pre-oven

Get all the dough pieces close together but since the dough spreads slightly while baking, they will all merge together anyways like this:

Post baking

Make sure they've COMPLETELY cooled and then start with the icing.

Right foot:

Left foot:

I'm a lefty so I always rotate when doing the other side. It's just easier. Do whatever is comfortable for you. On a sidenote, when I was in the 2nd grade, my teacher told me that if I were born in the 1800s I would have been burned on the stake and accused of witchcraft just by being left handed. That really scared me.

Bottom 1/2 of face:

Moving onto belly but only piping alternate sections: 

Adding the first "scale" atop his head:


Then the wings: 

Fill in the remaining sections of the belly: 

And then the rest of the body: 

Next finish the top 1/2 of the face (by now your bottom half of the face should be somewhat dry): 

Also go back in with a toohpick to clean up any sharp corners. The toothpick is a cookie icer's best friend! 

I add 2 long dots for the snout: 

And three long dots on each foot for the toes: 

Add eyes, wing detail and claws on toes for the finished product: 

Dragons everywhere!

And then all gussied up on from an iphone app on my girlfriend's phone:



 ROWR!!!

(do dragons rowr?)